This is a true story told through a friend, a first person account of the life of Nhlanhla, a nurse in a Sub-Saharan country afflicted by HIV and AIDS. Names, places and minor details have been changed to protect people’s privacy. It is a story of fear, stigma, discrimination but also of hope, the everyday story of a young woman whose life, on revealing to her family that she is HIV positive, spirals into hell and despair.

“Over the year, Nhlanhla has faced many challenges in finding out she was HIV positive, receiving a terrible response from her church members when she tried to disclose her status, so withdrawing again, getting herself in terrible debt with shop cards on the basis that she expected to die, her family being chased away from their home by her late fathers relatives on the accusation of witchcraft, her mum ending up in hospital seriously ill, and her holding the sole responsibility for supporting her mother, sister and her own children. This was confounded when we identified that her CD4 count had dropped below 200 and she was ready for treatment. Given the experience of the previous year the doctors and I knew that this would be a difficult step for her to take.

Then, Nhlanhla attempted suicide. Thankfully we had been reading the signs and as soon as we got an indication that she had committed to the attempt we were able to intervene. It was a very stressful time for all the staff involved who were frantically trying to find her after she had taken the overdose. After a few days in hospital she was discharged but unfortunately tried again the following day.”

In preparation of her being discharged a second time “the team had really pulled together to try to support Nhlanhla and we have had amazing support from a psychologist. He had established a support structure for her that includes her family, her team members involved with the case, a doctor at the hospital and himself.

Nhlanhla was discharged from hospital and collected by one of our staff. The plan was for her to be taken directly to the psychologists private practice in town who, as a favour to me, had offered to provide a planning session with Nhlanhla and her sister. Nhlanhla waited until the psychologist came out and then she left. Unfortunately the psychologist had to return to his office and by the time he came back out to the waiting room Nhlanhla had left on her own claiming she was too tired and had to go home. Even in the psychologists office she did not even introduce her sister and neither was she greeted by her. In my book these are all really bad signs that Nhlanhla is not acknowledging that she has ongoing psychological problems she needs to deal with, and she certainly does not appear to have the support from her sister.

Nhlanhla obviously has a number of problems that need to be addressed, but a very clear stress trigger for her is that when her family were chased away from their home, she was forced to buy a basic home in this area for her family. She has managed to clear a lot of the cost of the house, but she still owes quite a lot of money. She is now overdue on her payment since a few month and the landlord is threatening eviction.”

A collection was organised amongst friends as officially giving loans to staff was not allowed. No return was expected “but the reality of people’s lives is such that it is impossible to ignore the hardship. I just thought that instead of us all waiting for someone to die before we contribute, this time our contributions may actually reduce the risk of her attempting suicide again and hopefully give us more time to encourage her to start treatment.”

To be continued…

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