Home » Culture, Public Health, Society

Buying sex: not a male-only habit

6 April 2009 No Comment

It has all the elements of your usual sex worker story, set in the busy alleyway of the red light district of an exotic town, a low-rise stage on which naked, sexy and sweaty bodies gyrate in the night on the sound of thumping music, a crowd of patrons eyeing at the right number, a dancer who believes that “the sex industry is like any other service-oriented profession”; but this time, the dancers are male and the patrons are female.

In a rare report for The Bangkok Post, Yvonne Bohwongprasert unveils the life of men who sale sex to women in Bangkok. Articles on women sex workers or men sex workers selling to men are rather common, but for the first time, a taboo is broken: women, from Asia or abroad, also buy sex in Asia (and probably elsewhere).

Bohwongpraser interview of a male go-go dancer reveals an interesting understanding and justification of why women buy sex:

290424422_23480362b1_o
Male sex workers during the 2006 Bangkok Pride
© peripheries

‘This topic is taboo because our society would prefer to think it doesn’t exist,” said Ken, a 24 years old male go-go dancer. ”Asian women in general have become more outgoing and don’t want society to dictate to them how they should spend their money. The purchasing power of women today is much greater than one would have imagined. Just like buying a new bag or shoes, paying for our services is another way to let off steam for my female clients. I think it’s about time we respected that. Being a male sex worker is not just about what goes on behind closed doors, often we also become their confidants.”

Ken also believes that Thai society should accept the fact that women have the same rights (emphasis mine) as men in choosing to pay for sex “which he thinks is a convenient way to release one’s sexual urges with no strings attached.” reflexion of a man’s point of view on buying sex or real women’s perception? The answer may come from one of the patrons interviewed by Bohwongpraser:

”Men and women experience the same sexual feelings. The double standards in our society, however, condone men for purchasing sexual services, despite the fact that they have girlfriends and wives, so when the tables are turned what’s the fuss about? Women have the right to choose how they would like to satisfy their sexual urges. I believe opting to pay for it is so much better than having an affair with a married man or someone in a committed relationship. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Overall this is a good article though Bohwongpraser can’t refrain to make a few bleeding heart comments: “Judging from the male sex workers we spoke to, it was pretty evident that most of them took drugs and alcohol to get them through the day.” Drugs and alcohol are a real problem in Thailand and often more prevalent amongst sex workers, but many do not take drugs and those who do, do because they can afford them. She also assume that sex workers “would not risk their health if given an opportunity to make a good living”. But there are opportunities to make a living in Thailand and though some young men and women do end up in the sex trade more by need than by choice, many have made a reasoned out choice, as many of the sex workers I know have explained to me and as Bohwongpraser observed, “In terms of education, most of them have completed college and some even university. Some even hold regular day jobs and moonlight in these clubs at night”. Many are willing to do something else, but that is when they have saved enough money from work. The truth is that if your are successful, this is a trade that pay, and people know that.

311663227_da82e7cf7c_o

Some of the SWING crew
World AIDS Day 2006, Bangkok. © peripheries

What sex workers need is to be recognised and supported. This is what another article by Bohwongpraser about Service Workers in Group (SWING) expands on. Created by Surang Janyaem five years ago, SWING offers education, counselling and mentoring to its members. It is not always easy as the police and authority hold sex workers and organisations that support them in contempt.

Like in most place, governments and foreign organisations, prejudiced or ill-good-intentionned, rarely consults sex workers when it comes to deal with the issues they have to face in their daily job (health, HIV prevention, abuse) and prefer to impose top down or foreign solutions that rarely achieve anything good. When it comes to support it is esential to consult those involved and to ask then what they want rather than tell them what they need.Surang is setting an example by starting a community programme in which young police cadets undergo a first-hand study of the sex industry for three weeks.

Women do buy sex from men and men do sale sex to women. As Laura Agustin wrote, “Because the prostitution controversy is about women who sell sex to men, most of male sex work passes unnoticed. And people who do talk about it often slip into the assumption that it’s a phenomenon happening between men, whether you call them gay or MSM.” This is not the case and there are more than anecdotal evidences that men sale sex to women all over the world, from Japan to Russia, London to Bangkok.

Why men who sale sex are not perceived as victims and do not receive as much attention as female sex workers? Why is it that women who buy sex from men are not seen as using their status to realise their desire at the expense of vulnerable men? Is this an indication that the debate on sex work is biaised by gender and gender perception? If true, then, as long as this is the case, sex work cannot be framed within a purposeful context that would contribute to the recognition of sex workers and their protection.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
  • Share/Bookmark

Reaching out to hidden MSM in Thailand...

The challenges of sex workers for microbicides development...

Virginity for the Bride: promise of a trustable wife or women under control?...

HIV on the rise in the Philippines: Will condoms do any good?...

Social and Cultural Stigmatisation of MSM in the Land of Smiles...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

This website uses IntenseDebate comments, but they are not currently loaded because either your browser doesn't support JavaScript, or they didn't load fast enough.

Leave your response!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.