From Mekong Erotics: Men Loving/Pleasuring/Using Men in Lao PDR.
By Chris Littleton.
Bangkok: UNESCO Bangkok, 2008

I am 18 years old, a student in my last year at secondary school in Vientiane. My grandmother was a folk singer (Morlam). She loves dancing and so do I. I wanted to follow grandma, I love dancing like a woman. When I was 7 years old, I joined a local cultural centre. While playing with friends, I was glad when they touched my body with their groins.

My first sexual experience was at 10 years old with my neighbor. The man worked in a guesthouse. He often came to my house and brought me gifts. One day, he took me to where he worked. The man put his penis into my mouth behind a counter, but he did not ejaculate. I was scared and shy. Later, I had sex with this man about 2-3 times, with no force. It was masturbation and oral sex. The man bought me clothes and gave me some money. Then he went to Thailand, and we lost contact.

I lost my virginity, my first anal sex, when I was 13 years old with my friend. We both were students, and we enjoyed having sex. He was good-looking. We were in the relationship for two years, and had sex 3-4 times a week. We broke up because the boy had a girlfriend, and then he became mengda – a man who relies on a woman for his living.

When I was in the 3rd year of secondary school, I had anal sex with a boy who lived in a nearby village. The boy was in the 2nd year. Only I fell in love. He was not interested in me, and we did not have sex again because the boy did not give me the chance. During that time, I did not have sex with other people. It lasted only three months.

Then I was in a relationship with another person for four years. We both were students in the 4th year. I loved him a lot, so I was not brave enough to have sex with him – only touches, kisses, and then ejaculation. We bought things for each other. During the relationship, I also had other sleeping partners. We broke up because he had a girlfriend. I got bored and told him to break up, but he still wanted to be with me.

Since then, I have slept with many people and did not want to be hurt again. I think no true love could happen and I just pay for sex. Once I slept with a monk at a temple. My friends had done this before, so this time they asked me to come along to the temple with them (four kathoey friends). On the day, they brought some beer. After drinking, we had sex. Only two kathoey and two monks had sex. I had sex with a monk and another friend had sex with another novice. Both couples had anal sex without a condom.

I am now a dancer for a local dance troupe with a well-known singer. As a dancer, I travel to many places, but I did not have much chance to have sleeping partners because there was no time- after concerts it was late and I was tired. Once I had sex with another dancer in the same group on the trip to Savannakhet. He is gay; and it was for finding release for the two of us. I did not give him any money. I did not have sex with him again. He is just a colleague, and we only say “hi” when we meet.&

Recently, I got a new boyfriend (faen) – a 13-year-old boy who lives in the same suburb as me. We have anal sex. We want to have sex whenever we get together. I like both old persons and young boys as long as they are handsome. But it is easier to get boys; they like trying something new.

Apart from my faen, I have many sleeping partners who I have sex with regularly. Some of them are workers, security guards, and young students. Usually I look for sex partners in night clubs. I approach boys by getting close to them while dancing. I approach security guards when they are on duty during the nights. I prefer Lao people because it feels good (hed kak) and it takes them a short time to ejaculate (nam taek wai). I have slept with eight foreigners, and it was for money.

There are girls who like me, but I do not find females interesting because I still want to sleep with guys. So now I do not want to have a girlfriend. My friends told me about having sex with women. I also watched sex movies male and female, so I wanted to try having sex with a female. I slept with one girl. She was also a student. It was mutual sexual desire; the girl wanted it, too. I do not want to sleep with sex workers because I am afraid of getting infected. I think when I have sex with a female, I feel emotional pleasure (mee kwamsuk teua jay); and when having sex with males, it is to find physical release (pordpoi).

I want to have sex twice a week, about two new faces per month. I have sex sometimes at a wellknown guesthouse, in a backyard garden where there is lots of banana trees, at the stadium, at my house or the boy’s houses. I do not often use condoms. I will see if the penis of the men is open or not. If it is open, I use a condom, if it is still closed, I don’t. Also when I get drunk, I do not use a condom. But I use a condom with men who I think have had sex with women.

In my classroom, there are 45 students: 22 are males and about seven are gay/kathoey. I have not experienced any serious discrimination from others. Sometimes, my friends (both boys and girls) do pick on me for being kathoey. People in my village accept me being kathoey. If people do not accept me, never mind, I can take care of myself and do not need help from others for my living. I am confident to express myself and proud of myself for who I am and what I can do. Well, others can not do the same.

In the future, I want to have a wife and have children because my penis still gets erect. I think relationships between gays will not last. But relationship between male and female is longlasting. Being old, gays need to spend a lot of money for sex.

© UNESCO 2008
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